Afraid

It's the first time to write something in my blog that I don't want you to read, I know eventually you will but really I am not hurry cos you know what, I just don't wanna write anymore, tired of writing (surprising isn't it?!!) I don't wanna write, I don't wanna talk, I just want to feel your presence like I used to, I want to feel your love, I want to know deep in my heart that you'll not leave me no matter what.

You know what being together was a fact to me that I never suspected for a second, why do you take that certainty out of my heart now and why now when I need you the most!!!

I love you, yes I love you far beyond what words can say, I don't want anything other than you from life, just three days ago I was praying to have kids who'll look like you, I need to know what happened in these two days?!!

You know what really kills me, when I ask you what exactly do you want and you reply that "I don't know, I haven't decided yet," what is exactly that you don't know? you don't know if you want me or not, you don't know if you want to be myside for the rest of ourlives together or not? you don't know if you are willing to take a challenge or two to protect your love? what is it exactly that you don't know!!!

I have lots of questions on my mind and I am tired of writing, I am tired of talking, I am tired of thinking and I am afraid, afraid of facing this world without you, afraid that I will lose my one and only love, afraid that I stuck with misery for my whole like... But I deserve to be loved and I deserve to be loved by you..

Please know, please decide, please don't leave me, I can't believe I am that desperate...